Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Crazy I&S Professors


I had to take 3 semesters of a hybrid philosophy/humanities class in college called “Individual in Society” or something like that since we all referred to it as I&S.  For whatever reason I&S seemed to attract the quirky professors.  There were two incidents that I’ll never forget the level of awkwardness.  They were moments where you could feel the air getting sucked out of the room in an instant.

The first two semesters of I&S I had was with Professor Shippey, I must have the spelling wrong since he’s not coming up on any google searches.  Professor Shippey looked like if Mr. Roberts was a philosophy professor.  Button down shirt covered by a v-neck sweater, khaki pants, sensible shoes, coke bottle glasses, salt & pepper hair that went a little bit of everywhere and a propensity for keeping the chalk between both hands and shaking it.  If memory serves, he was a good professor who was diligent, kept things on track and stuck to the syllabus, except for this one time.

It was the second semester and I distinctly remember that we were talking about Plato’s idea forms and how there are certain forms for everything.  The professor was stuck on the notion of the forms for trees and dogs.  He was hammering the point home over and over again listing different types of dogs and trees, and how they shared some unique thing that tied them to their respective category.  I think these classes lasted an hour and fifteen minutes and we were about an hour in.  For some reason that to this day makes my head hurt, Professor Shippey doesn’t even go on a tangent as much as he stops the lecture to tell an anecdote about graduating college and back packing through Europe in the late 70’s early 80’s.  Mind you this class was in the spring of 1999 so he was probably in his early to mid 40’s.  I had always wanted to back pack through Europe after college or maybe because I was a highly conscientious student, I was actively listening to his story.  I remember wondering how he was going to relate it back to Plato as he started.  He started by laying out his route, France then heading East through Belgium and Holland on his way to Germany and then finally Italy.  He quickly guided us past the exposition of the first few countries and really the story began in Germany.  It was most likely the early 80’s and the Cold War was in full swing.  I’m not sure how travel between West and East Germany was for Americans but he said that he went over to East Germany for a bit where he met a woman and quickly fell in love.  He was so smitten that he gave up on going to Italy and spent the rest of his time with her.  I think they ended up getting married such that she could leave the country but it’s been a while and some of the details have been muddled over time.  Professor Shippey’s visa expires and he has to return home.  They write each other constantly with some of her letters never making through or they make it through redacted.  He goes through channel after channel trying to get her over to the US but the bureaucracy on the East Germany side is either holds things up or outwardly dismisses them.  This process of letter writing, bureaucratic undermining and trips to East Germany goes on for years; years of frustration, years of love, years of holding on to hope.  After all these years, she begins to waiver.  She doesn’t waiver with another man, but rather She waivers in her belief that her government will ever let her leave.  She decided to take matters into her own hands and escape the country in the most direct way possible, the Berlin Wall.  She decides to climb over the Berlin Wall under the cover of darkness only to be gunned down by the guards.  There might have been a long pause here in his story or very possibly the moment that it took for Professor Shippey to take a breathe felt like an eternity for every single person in the room.  Then without missing a beat, he starts shaking the chalk and goes right back into Plato’s forms.  It feels like no one has taken breathe in the last two minutes.  The air is stale and our eyes darted from the clock to each other for any hint as to how to react to this heart wrenching, out of place love story.  I remember thinking not to stare at the clock but at the same time making eye contact with the professor was out of the question.  The ten remaining minutes were dead silent from the student side.  Professor Shippey continued with his lesson without tying anything from the anecdote back into it, nor did his flow or cadence change.  If you had walked into that classroom as soon as his story finished, you’d have no idea that anything was different from when you left to go the bathroom.  The eternity that was those last ten minutes ended and everyone in the class had the wherewithal to not say a word about what just happened as we crossed the threshold.  We all took the stairs down  trying to wrap our minds around it and how to react.

My third and final semester in I&S was with Professor Tenywa, who I learned today died almost ten years ago in his native Uganda which puts a damper on this story.  At the very first class Professor Tenywa with his ear-to-ear grin informs us of his basic tenant, punctuality is key and lateness to his class or on assignments will not be tolerated.   Professor Tenywa liked suits and tweed jackets and he was always smiling this enormous smile.  There was a string of bad weather in NYC the first few weeks of class and on our very next class the professor was late.  He explained and apologized for his lateness by informing us that he was an adjunct and was working at another college directly beforehand.  I remember having a hard time reconciling his personnel lateness with his policy concerning our lateness but I didn’t give it much thought since every once in a while we are all late.  On the third class day the professor is late again but this time there is no explanation and he sticks by how important it is that we the students be on time all the while showing off his pearly whites.  On the fourth day of classes the professor is late again, this time later than before.  There’s an unwritten college rule that if the professor doesn’t show up after fifteen minutes then class is cancelled, it’s the fifteen minute rule.  Now on this fourth day of class the troops are getting restless at the hypocrisy and at the thought of a cancelled class.  We were at or about the twelve minute mark when he walks through the door smiling.  The room deflated.  After class there was a sentiment rallied by a few students that we should report his perennial lateness.  To my knowledge it never came to that.  On the fifth day of classes, he was late again.  Now the class had basically had it.  It should be noted that Professor Tenywa was a nice man but he wasn’t what you’d call friendly, he was more authoritative which didn’t sit well with some.  Five minutes went by and the murmurs of the fifteen minute rule started.  Seven minutes went by and people started planning on how to handle the situation.  Ten minutes went by and the class is divided between walking out early and waiting until the full fifteen.  Twelve minutes went by and the conversation had degraded into whether or not to leave a note.  At the fifteen minute mark the class has reached its fever pitch and a student walks up to the board to write that the class has left since he was more than 15 minutes late.  As the chalk hit the blackboard Professor Tenywa walks through the door with his ear-to-ear.  The class looks around for its vocal leaders of dissent against the hypocrisy to say their piece.  Just then Professor Tenywa says, “I’m sorry for my lateness.  My wife died.”  He paused as everyone in the room felt like the worst person on the planet.  Here we were an angry mob ready to tear into this man and we were all very quickly put in our place by human understanding.  “Next class is cancelled as well since I have her wake. Thank you.”  Then he walked out with that same smile but this time you knew he was faking.   

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