47

Hey,

I know we are basically strangers right now but in the brief interactions we’ve had over the last few years mixed with our history, I feel like I have to tell you something that’s been bothering me.  I think you are fucking up.  If not, then at the minimum you are shooting yourself in the foot.  Take all of this with a grain of salt if you’d like.  I’m telling you this because I used to do the exact same thing.  You have a superior complex but mixed with a tremendous amount of self-doubt and because of that doubt you are pushing the people around you away, even your close friends.  Like I said we are basically strangers but that outside perspective lets people see things that you can’t when you are in it. 

Here’s where it’s going to sound pretentious mixed with at least a dash of pompous, it’s a matter of growing up and figuring things out, for instance none of this matters, but more importantly how to put other people before you.  When you talk to people, you are listening but only as a means as a jumping off point to talk about yourself.  Take the time to really listen, engage and ask the other person questions that makes them think their position through thoroughly.  It’s not a duplicitous but it’s a way to get people to like you instead of wanting to get out of the conversation by opening the car door and rolling on the gravel road just to not have to hear another word. 

It takes time and practice but you are smart enough to be able to do it without breaking a sweat.  I understand that it’s all a defense mechanism and a way to feel comfortable in uncomfortable situations but most people don’t give it a lot of thought and knee jerk to thinking you are being arrogant and pompous. 

I think you are also wrapped up in the expectations that you had for yourself and when those things didn’t happen your disappointment manifested itself into a mild depression which kicks us back to the overcompensating when dealing with people, which begins the cycle all over again. 

Maybe you’re better than this, maybe you’re not.  I don’t know.  Like I said we are basically strangers but I do know that the only way to find out is by trying. 

I wish you well and I do think you’ll come out of this rut and be happier for it.  I’d say you deserve it but that’s not true.  The mindset of “deserving” is what is getting you into trouble.  Once you accept that everyone is a person and no one is better but rather different, you can hopefully see everyone on equal footing and from there respecting their voice and what they say.

Let’s go with “Best Regards,”

Jon